10 Reasons Not to Do a Boudoir Session (Unless You're Ready to Feel Like a Goddess)

Boudoir photography is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage, confidence, and a willingness to embrace your body and your femininity. But if you're not ready to feel like a goddess, then you definitely shouldn't do a boudoir session. Here are the top ten reasons why you shouldn’t do a boudoir session:

1. You hate feeling sexy and confident. If you're not comfortable with your own body and don't like feeling confident and empowered, then a boudoir session is definitely not for you.

2. You don't want to see yourself in a new light. Boudoir photography is all about celebrating your beauty and your unique femininity. But if you're not ready to see yourself in a new light and embrace your inner goddess, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

3. You're afraid of being vulnerable. Boudoir photography requires you to be vulnerable and open, to let go of your insecurities and embrace your body. But if you're not ready to be vulnerable, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

4. You don't want to have fun. Boudoir sessions are a blast! You get to dress up, feel sexy, and have fun with your photographer. But if you're not ready to let loose and have fun, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

5. You're not willing to invest in yourself. Boudoir photography is an investment in yourself, in your confidence and your self-love. But if you're not willing to invest in yourself, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

6. You don't want to be pampered. Boudoir sessions often include hair and makeup services, as well as other luxurious touches. But if you don't want to be pampered and treated like a queen, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

7. You're not comfortable with your sexuality. Boudoir photography is all about celebrating your sexuality and your feminine power. But if you're not comfortable with your sexuality, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

8. You don't want to feel beautiful. Boudoir photography is all about making you feel beautiful, confident, and empowered. But if you don't want to feel beautiful, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

9. You don't want to celebrate your body. Boudoir photography is all about celebrating your body, no matter what size or shape you are. But if you don't want to celebrate your body and all that it can do, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

10. You don't want to feel like a goddess. Boudoir photography is all about making you feel like a goddess, like the powerful, beautiful, and amazing woman that you are. But if you don't want to feel like a goddess, then boudoir photography is definitely not for you.

So there you have it, ten reasons not to do a boudoir session. But if you're ready to feel like a goddess and embrace your inner beauty and power, then book that boudoir session today!

WTF am I doing…

Here is one I don't think I have posted yet. It was taken before I cut my hair and also roughly 40 or so pounds ago. As a boudoir photographer I tell everyone that they should do a boudoir session, it will help to see themselves in a new light. I have struggled a lot with my weight, most of you already know that. I never thought myself "good enough" at a lot of things, believe it or not... at my boudoir photography business too.

Like how tf can I tell other women to love themselves when I don't even love myself? When I am at my lowest point, I will legit pull out my tripod and set up my camera and take a few shots. I push thru it despite myself and the monsters in my head screaming at me that I am not good enough. I am not worthy of love and admiration. That's how I do it, every day... one day at a time. I conquer one beast at a time. Tackle one obstacle at a time, otherwise I get overwhelmed and then the monsters start to creep back in.

A lot of you tell me all the time, "idk how you do it... I admire you for what you do for others... etc etc..." Some days it still feels like a dream. Others it feels like a nightmare. IDK any other way to put it. Honestly I really thought this post was going in a different direction when I started it too, but here we are. I am constantly asking myself wtf am I doing here. The answer is... empowering other women because thats what makes me feel good at the end of the day. I am a people pleaser and always have been. More of a giver than a receiver, my husband loves that about me (wink wink). In learning that I will always view myself as “not as good as…” or “I will never be like…” I just started to shift my mindset when the monsters would creep in. For every bad thought I have about myself or the boudoir biz, I have to think of 10 positive things. Do you know how hard that is sometimes? You know what though, it really helps. As far as my “selfie” days, those are more for fun and artistic mindsets to get me back into a certain frame of mind.

When you find yourself in a pickle, self doubt, think you suck, your life is completely fucked.. whatever the case is… make a list of everything that is “wrong.” Next to that list, make another list of things that YOU can change. Next to that list, make a plan how you’re going to change those things. Then I want you to write down ten positive things about yourself and then repeat them. One by one you cross them off. This is how I do it. This is how I keep sane and run two businesses, manage a house with kids, and also work a part-time job.

All I gotta say is just keep truckin' babes. And if you need me… I am just a call/text message away.

Preparing for Your Boudoir Experience

So you’re thinking about booking that appointment, CONGRATULATIONS you’re more brave than you think you are. Many women wish of doing this but can’t bring themselves to do it out of fear, self-doubt, or other reasons. You will not regret this decision, you’re beautiful and you deserve to believe it to the fullest!

You might be wondering how you prepare for this experience but let me start with what you do NOT need to do instead.

1. You DO NOT need to lose any weight, you are gorgeous and ‘boudoir ready’ at the weight you’re at

2. You DO NOT need a spray tan. Spray tans can make you look orange, unevenly colored, they can smear on your clothes, etc. You’re skin will look great in the pictures without that hassle.

3. You DO NOT need to compare yourself to models online. I invite you to use posts online for pose and wardrobe inspiration but don’t feel like your body has to match theirs or become discouraged in any way by comparing. We are going to find the most flattering poses for your body.

Now, we can get into what you do need to focus on to prepare for this experience in order to make the most out of it. I hope you’re getting excited (:

1. RELAX. This is supposed to be a fun and empowering experience whether you’re doing it for yourself or your spouse. Relax and know you are in great hands, if you have any questions leading up to your appointment I’m just a message away!

2. Pick out some outfits you feel great in. Make sure you try them on before you get here. Remember you get two pieces from the client closet but you will want to have more options. Don’t feel pressured to buy all new pieces, I’ve shot some amazing photos with plain bras and undies, old t-shirts, and even old sports jerseys.

3. Leading up to the shoot and the day of make sure you drink lots of water. Being hydrated makes you feel better, helps your skin, and it will help after your appointment is over.

4. Stretching is also very important. We will be doing a lot of poses and your body might not be used to moving in certain positions. stretching helps loosen up your muscles which will help you be more comfortable while posing.

You’re going to do great. When you get here you will have you hair and makeup professionally done, we’ll have your choice of drinks and snacks, and your choice of music because this day is all about you! I will assist you with poses and be your hype girl along the way.

I’m so excited to see you behind the lens.

Welcome to the Dark Side… We Have Lingerie and Wine.

The inspiration behind Dark Heart Boudoir has been a collection of beautiful moments that have moved me and other times that could have ruined me. I think back to times where I felt on top of the world, being with friends, trips to Florida (my favorite vacation spot), and the times I wish to hold forever being a mother and wife. But with that being said, the dark times have brought me here too. Times where all I see are all of my imperfections when I look in the mirror. The disappointment of seeing the number of the scale increase. I’ve wiped my own tears away when I felt too insecure to even leave the house. But this isn’t a sad story, and if you relate to any of these things you’re not alone and things WILL get better.

There’s a saying, “it’s always darkest before the dawn”, and trust me when I tell you dawn will come and the darkness will make you appreciate it more. Boudoir isn’t something you do only when you feel confident, it’s something to do to spark your confidence. That’s why I love being behind the camera capturing the beauty of every body type and watching my client’s eyes light up when they see themselves in a new way. That is my dawn and I hope it is theirs too.

I’ve experienced first-hand how empowering it feels to be vulnerable in front of a camera, unapologetically me in the barest form and accepting myself for how I am. After knowing that feeling it became clear to me that any and every woman should feel this way and I need to assist in helping as many women as I possibly can. Dark Heart Boudoir isn’t about taking pictures, its about igniting the spark of confidence in women when they feel sexy, understood, and feminine. I just happen to capture those moments so it can last forever.

This journey doesn’t start and end with your session. Dark Heart Boudoir is meant to be a community of women supporting women. I am here to support you and there is a VIP lounge with many women who are ready to support you as well. Welcome to the Dark Side, are you ready for lingerie and wine?